I can’t agree with the above saying more! An unhappy marriage doesn’t just affect the married couple. It affects the kids greatly. There is a lot of tension, unhappiness, and hostility in the air when a marriage is not safe, secure, and happy. The kids feel that tension, unhappiness, and hostility and will react to it. You may not see it initially, but eventually the damage will show itself. Sadly, I know this first hand.
Today seemed like a good time to discuss this, because yesterday I was told something that made me revisit this idea that a good/bad marriage has influence on children’s behavior. Yesterday, my son’s counselor made the comment that my current husband is invested in my children’s well being and it shows. This made my heart sing! Nothing makes me happier than to see my children thriving and happy. The amazing thing is, my husband is able to get my son to leave his room (heck he even leaves the house!) to do things outdoors with him. Since my kids have lived in a house where the married couple is happy, there has been great improvement in behavior, especially that of my son.
My husband has a wonderful calming effect on us and is level headed and patient. He is kinds and supportive. He started working with my son’s excessive cussing habit and it has almost completely resolved. When my son does slip and use a bad word, he quickly and sincerely apologizes. I never in a million years thought that would happen.
My husband loves to see us smile. He makes every day happy and does whatever he can to create laughter and joy. My kids love to watch him “torture me” for fun and love to join in. Because our relationship is safe and happy, my kids feel comfortable playing and interacting. For example, one of my hubby’s favorite things to do is to get me soaked. One day he locked the double doors, leaving me sitting unawares in the rocker on the back porch, while he secretively made his way upstairs and dumped water on me from the upstairs balcony. Of course when I went to get in the house, I was locked out and still getting water dumped on me from above! My kids were just giggling and laughing up a storm.
I can honestly say that being in a marriage full of laughter has created changes in my children that I hope will lead them to having a healthy, happy lifelong relationships in the future.
In Love and Light,