Happy Marriage, Happier Kids!

childrenmarriageI can’t agree with the above saying more! An unhappy marriage doesn’t just affect the married couple. It affects the kids greatly. There is a lot of tension, unhappiness, and hostility in the air when a marriage is not safe, secure, and happy. The kids feel that tension, unhappiness, and hostility and will react to it. You may not see it initially, but eventually the damage will show itself. Sadly, I know this first hand.

Today seemed like a good time to discuss this, because yesterday I was told something that made me revisit this idea that a good/bad marriage has influence on children’s behavior. Yesterday, my son’s counselor made the comment that my current husband is invested in my children’s well being and it shows. This made my heart sing! Nothing makes me happier than to see my children thriving and happy. The amazing thing is, my husband is able to get my son to leave his room (heck he even leaves the house!) to do things outdoors with him. Since my kids have lived in a house where the married couple is happy, there has been great improvement in behavior, especially that of my son.

My husband has a wonderful calming effect on us and is level headed and patient. He is kinds and supportive. He started working with my son’s excessive cussing habit and it has almost completely resolved. When my son does slip and use a bad word, he quickly and sincerely apologizes. I never in a million years thought that would happen.

My husband loves to see us smile. He makes every day happy and does whatever he can to create laughter and joy. My kids love to watch him “torture me” for fun and love to join in. Because our relationship is safe and happy, my kids feel comfortable playing and interacting. For example, one of my hubby’s favorite things to do is to get me soaked. One day he locked the double doors, leaving me sitting unawares in the rocker on the back porch, while he secretively made his way upstairs and dumped water on me from the upstairs balcony. Of course when I went to get in the house, I was locked out and still getting water dumped on me from above! My kids were just giggling and laughing up a storm.

I can honestly say that being in a marriage full of laughter has created changes in my children that I hope will lead them to having a healthy, happy lifelong relationships in the future.

In Love and Light,

His Angel

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A Year of Changes

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This time last year, I never imagined my life would be the way it is now. I was feeling defeated, hopeless and lost. All of that has changed and I am very excited about it all.

I have been wanting to get back into school for many years, but was not able. This was not due to my own choice. However, once I made the decision to leave a less than happy marriage, I set about getting back into school and was very excited when I got accepted! I started out wanting to get a nursing degree, but after dealing with so many things that I find unfair and wanting to see change, I have turned my sights to political science. (You NEVER would have caught me wanting to have anything to do with political science a year ago!) I am sincerely hoping that I will be able to create waves of change for domestic violence victims and in other areas as well.

 

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Feelin’ Sassy!

Another amazing change I have made just recently is to sign on as an independent Younique presenter! I have always loved makeup but haven’t had the opportunity to dabble in it for quite some time. Now that the chance to play again has arisen, I am ready to rock and roll! The Younique company has the amazing and oh so wanted 3D Fiber lashes! Click HERE to order your 3D fiber lashes and see all we have to offer! You won’t be disappointed! (You can see the Younique 3D Fiber Lash Deal or Dud video HERE!)

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In Love and Light,

His Angel

Respect and Appreciation: Necessary Elements of a Healthy Relationship

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So many relationships are lacking these critical elements nowadays. I firmly believe that mutual respect and appreciation are necessary in a healthy and happy relationship, especially if you want your relationship to last. There is a saying along the lines of someone who is shown appreciation will do more than someone who is not shown any. I can’t remember the exact wording, but I am sure you get what I am trying to say there.

I can tell you from experience in my own life that those words are true. For thirteen years I was married to a man who complained about my cooking, my clothes, my body, my personality, everything really. My self-esteem and confidence became almost non-existent and I began not wanting to do any of my wifely duties. I mean, who wants to cook when everything you make is picked apart? (Ironically when I left him he started trying to compliment my cooking. SMH)

The man I am now married to appreciates everything I do or attempt to do. It helps that we both love so many of the same meals and other things such as hobbies, but even if I cook something that does not come out as we expected he makes sure to tell me he is thankful for the meal. Because he takes the time to appreciate my effort in the kitchen, I actually look forward to and want to cook. This is a huge change for me considering I have hated cooking for many years and lacked any kind of confidence to boil water. On that note, if I have a particularly rough day and burn dinner, he will come comfort me as well as help me in the kitchen. Likewise I make sure to thank him for being such a hard worker, for becoming a “new” father to my ten and twelve-year olds, for loving me so well, you get the picture. I make sure that throughout the day I text him here and there to let him know I am thankful for something he has said or done.

Once he is home I show him I appreciate and love him by rubbing his arms, neck, and back or scratching his back if he wishes. He works a very physical job in unforgiving heat that I know I am not capable of dealing with so anything I can do to show I am thankful for all of his hard work and help him relax I will do. It is important for me to share with him how much I love, respect, and appreciate him.

We have a lot of love and respect for each other and it is evident whether we are home or in public. He holds hands with me no matter where we go. He is proud to introduce me as his wife to everyone he knows ( or doesn’t know! ) which makes my heart soar. He appreciates that I want to look good for him and compliments me daily. I make sure to do the same.

The way my love and I treat each other is different from what I am used to, and different from what I see so many others live with. Our relationship makes me feel safe and secure and the love, respect, and appreciation we have for each other is a big part of that. It feels amazing to know that if there is an issue I can safely address it with my husband and we can both be respectful and work through it. I know that even if dinner doesn’t work out as planned, I will still be loved and respected. I know that even though he doesn’t demand that I appreciate him, it means a lot to him that I do.

That is what my idea of a healthy and happy relationship is built on.

In Love and Light,

His Angel

“You Don’t Have to be Perfect for Anyone…”

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I found this adorable quote from the movie Up while searching for love quote images on Google. I absolutely adore that movie, and this is really cute!

The words printed on the image above are absolutely true! I spent years being told by my ex husband that I wasn’t perfect. Every one of my flaws thrown in my face over and over until I really believed there was nothing wonderful about me at all. Now that I am away from that relationship, I realize I wasn’t the one who was truly flawed: He was. In his mission to destroy my self-confidence by making sure I never felt good enough, he was trying to make himself feel better about his short comings by reveling in mine. No matter what changes I made, or could have made, I never would have measured up and been “perfect in his eyes.”

Then along came Mike. He is the first to admit that no one is perfect. There are things he wishes he could change about himself as there are things I wish I could change about myself. But I love him as he is. And he loves me as I am. He sees beauty in my body and is teaching me to see it, too. For the first time in many years, I actually wear dresses and enjoy sharing pictures of myself. Not that long ago, I avoided the camera at all costs. He treats me with respect and we tell each other we are perfect for each other. For the first time in my life, I have found someone who finds me perfect as I am, stretch marks, extra weight and all.

My hope is that all women find a man who finds them perfect as they are, regardless of weight or physical “imperfections.” It feels good to feel comfortable in my own skin, imperfections and all!I

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First time wearing a dress and feeling beautiful in many years!

In Love and Light,

Mike’s Angel

Simple Gifts, A Sweet Reminder

I’m all about letting my love know how I feel about him. In fact, we both take the time and make the effort to show each other that we are appreciated and important. The other day, my sweetie left this on my Facebook page and made me melt:

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He calls me his angel and I love it. The fact that he looked for something so sweet to share with me made me smile. I am a very lucky angel indeed. There is no question that I am his and that he is proud to have and to hold me. I sometimes still get a little shy about how much he shows his affection. I spent 13 years with a man who you’d never know was with me when we were in public. In fact, he never made any posts or like on Facebook about me or our kids. Having such loving and positive attention in this relationship has been a wonderful experience, and one that I would love to see continue.

I wanted to share something special and sweet with him so he could get a daily reminder of how much he means to me. I found a great couple key chain set from Patriotic Love on Etsy. She was a pleasure to do business with, very polite and helpful. My hubby has his half hanging from his rearview mirror in this truck so it doesn’t get dinged up or lost at work.

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It was just a small and sweet gesture that lets him know every day that he is important to me and on my mind. It makes me feel good to know he loves it and looks at every day while he drives to and from work as well as when we are out and about. It is very well made and I couldn’t be happier with how they turned out! So if you are looking for a simple gift to make your significant other (or anyone, really) happy, please check out Patriotic Love on Etsy. You won’t be disappointed!

In Love and Light,

Mike’s Angel

Married to My Love

It’s official! My love and I tied the knot in a VERY small ceremony at the courthouse. Well, in the law library to be exact! The court room they usually use for marriage ceremonies was occupied due to an emergency hearing, so the poor law librarian was kicked out of his space so that we could be married. Our “wedding” went just as I thought it would. There was plenty of giggles and laughter!!! In fact, all of the people working in the adjoining office were full of smiles and giggles as we left. Glad we could brighten everyone’s day!!

Mother Nature blessed our marriage with a beautiful rain! According to 11 Wedding Superstitions and Traditions Explained, rain on your wedding day symbolizes fertility and cleansing! I believe this to be a good sign, as the rain was soothing and sweet.

So many things are different with the relationship my love and I share. Our days are filled with sweet, loving texts and we spend our evenings on the back porch talking, or in the recliner cuddling together. He does all he can to make my life happy and stress free, and brings a lot of laughter to my kids and me. I couldn’t ask for a more loving or doting man in my life.

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Our Law Library Wedding

We look forward to enjoying many years together! I absolutely adore my man. He is all I could ever have dreamed of and more. His soul dances with mine. Each day we find more and more things we have in common. The things we share will definitely allow us to continue nurturing our strong bond and ensure a happy, healthy, strong relationship for years to come.

In Love and Light,

Mike’s Angel

Speaking of Second Chances…

As y’all know, I’m all about second chances. For me, that meant finally getting the courage and strength to leave a marriage that was so broken there was no chance of piecing it back together. For others, second chances may be rekindling what was lost, realizing how much you truly want what you already have, and making the effort to working through and holding on to that special treasure you had once taken for granted.

I have come to realize that the biggest threat to relationships in today’s world is not other people. It isn’t being broke or financially strained. It isn’t the “stresses” of work and/or raising kids. I really believe the biggest threat to a relationship is taking your partner for granted. Once you start taking each other for granted, the door opens for temptation and is not so easy to shut. One of the things that Mike and I make a habit of doing several times a day is to tell each other something we love, appreciate, or enjoy about each other. Or in Mike’s case, he will publicly make how he feels known. He asked to borrow my phone the other day and this is what I found on my Facebook page after:

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(He calls me his Angel all the time, hence the name of my blog!)

I’m a firm believer that if you want to keep your relationship secure and strong, you can not take your mate for granted! It costs you nothing to tell your significant other how much they mean to you and something you love about them. It isn’t enough to just say “I love you.” Many times I feel those words are said out of habit and “lose their meaning” over time because you no longer think about it. Taking the time to say “I love you because….” or “I love when….” and inserting something particular from time to time will strengthen the meaning of those words. But of course that is just my opinion and I’m definitely no expert!

If you fall into the category of not needing/wanting to leave your relationship and want to feel hopeful, you absolutely MUST check out this book: Fixed in the Tempest by Author Charmain Zimmerman Brackett. I read it in two days. It made me cry. It made me smile. And it made me long for more. I was still married to my ex husband when I read that book and I hoped and wished I could have had that ending. However, it was not to be. You can click on the link and read the reviews and also a brief snapshot of what the book is about. I can assure you, you will NOT be disappointed! If you know anyone who is struggling or has struggled with infidelity and hopelessness in their relationship, I highly encourage you to share Fixed in the Tempest with them. It may give them the strength to hold on just a bit more…and give love a second chance.

In Love and Light,

I’m His Angel

 

Second Chance Romance, Second Chance Family…Our Story

You may be wondering why I chose the tag line “Second Chance Romance, Second Chance Family.” My answer is simple: those words sum up my new life perfectly. After spending 13 long years in a marriage in which I was constantly reminded that other women were more important than me, and no matter how hard I tried, what I said or did, I would never measure up or be good enough, I finally got the courage to walk away. With the support of my most amazing family and awesome besties, I took the risk and got divorced.

I have to admit, I never thought I’d meet someone who would treat me like I mattered. I never imagined there would be a man who would treat my children as they were his own, make them smile like they haven’t in years, and make every day so enjoyable. But, I met my “knight in shining armor” and his name is Mike.

It is my hope that by sharing my experiences here I may encourage other women to make the leap and leave abusive and unsafe relationships to pursue a life that can be filled with joy and confidence. It is my hope that I can share with you the changes I see in my children and the adventures we have together as a Second Chance Family.

In love and light,

I’m His Angel